Never again!!!

I'm writing this down hoping that I will never get to a point where I drink too much.

Dammit.

Scientific facts about love part 2!

I just wrote an entry on this before.... interesting scientific facts about love!

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101022184957.htm


http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090317153039.htm

Questions

I often get a lot of the same questions so I guess I should write down my sarcastic answers.

Why is your name so long?  Ask my mom, because she wanted me suffer my whole school life when writing my name.

Why are you so skinny? Hmmm.... because you're fat and it makes me look skinny

Why are you so skinny even though you eat 3 times more than I do? Oh that's simple.... I have a million angry aliens living in my belly that would eat me alive if I don't eat.

Why do you sleep late? Because I am a vampire and when the sun rises that's when I sleep.

Why do you like ninjas? Because I am one.

I just feel like being sarcastic today.

On betrayal...

A few months ago, a person whom I considered as one of my good friends betrayed my trust. Everything that friend and I shared just seemed fake now.

I have a very sweet personality and I am genuinely kind, but betrayal is an issue that I do not easily forgive. It wasn't something minimal like telling my secrets but something that would definitely shake and hurt me to the point that I am no longer friends with that person. There are only a few things that would make me block people away from me. I have blocked out  two people and purged them out of my life. This is my 3rd.

As sad as it sounds, even if I had fond memories, I will obliterate those memories. Something fake is not worth remembering. Connections will be severed. I made other friends through this person and I was close to this former friend's family, I will no longer be associated with a betrayer. If they think I am extreme in my decision, sorry, but I'm looking out for myself. Besides why would I want to attach myself to negativity and drama?

I am very happy with my life right now, without that "friend". So if you're reading this, I can see that you've been googling my blog name, who else would do that but you. I don't trust you and I feel that I don't know you. Please stay away from me because if I see you I might slap your face.... Yes, I am that angry with you. I said what I needed to say and please stop snooping around my blog since I blocked you from facebook.

Slight revision to blog content....

Ok when I first started this blog, my goal was to write about every restaurant and food item that's unique. But it doesn't seem that way now. Life happened and I started writing about different things like school, rants, life and poetry. I'll try to stick to the food theme now but I'll still have little rants and ramblings.

I will soon write about things that I actually make or what my mom and I make.... the holidays are coming and there will be many parties to attend and food to create and devour.

I think I have 2 or 3 readers... har har har... but if anyone has a suggestion on what to cook drop a comment and I'll try making it when school life decides to give me some time.

10/17/2010

You're spending time with one person,
and you absolutely do nothing,
Often you don't say anything...
You sit side by side, reading a book or studying.
But you leave, with a smile plastered on your face
Feeling like it's the best day out of your week
That is what you call real happiness.

I hope every couple will experience this kind of happiness throughout their relationship.

On giving gifts...

I do things because I like to do things. I don't do it for approval. I don't do it to impress people. I do it because I am me. I am a very frank and straight forward person, so pretty much everything that I do is straight forward. I don't have any hidden agendas. What you see is what you get.

I give gifts to friends sometimes out of the blue. Why? Just because I appreciate them, because I feel they need a picker-upper, because I feel he/she would like the item, because I have no other reason but just to show I care. I do it because I feel good doing it.

My gifts can be little things from notebooks, to genuine gestures or even tasks... I don't really need anything in return. I'm already happy :)

THE DICKHEAD SONG (Funny original REVENGE song) by Miles Betterman

You came into my life and tried to do me wrong
So in return for that I have sent you this song
It tells you what I think and how I feel about you
So take a seat and listen up cos every single word is true

Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, I hope you'll soon be dead
And this is payback time for what you put me through

The way you behaved was a total disgrace
I'd never grow tired of punching your face
You think that putting me down lifts you higher
I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire

You think you're better than me well you're not my friend
I'll get further in life than you in the end
You're nothing you're worthless just dirt on my shoe
Wherever you go whatever you do people will sing this song to you

Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, I hope you'll soon be dead
And this is payback time for what you put me through

God will punish you cos you reap what you sow
You're a vile individual from head to toe
Nasty to the bone unpleasant to the core
I shall drink champagne when you are no more

If I never see your face again that's too soon
I've never met anyone so suited to this tune
I hope your friends desert you and your health is poor
This is what I think you are 1 2 3 4

Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, I hope you'll soon be dead
And this is payback time for what you put me through

I wouldn't even give you the steam from my piss
As far as I'm concerned you can swivel on this
You're simply jealous of me but I couldn't care less
Cos I have all the qualities you'll never possess

I'd hate to go through life as you 24/7
Cos people like you don't end up in Heaven
You will rot in Hell that's where you belong
And when you get there they'll be singing this song

You're a dickhead, such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, we're all glad you're dead
And so is everyone that you ever knew

Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, everybody's said
I hope you liked the song so, SCREW YOU!

Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

"Little Prince" Antoine de Saint Exupéry

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving" - Paulo Coelho

Does liking someone equal to loving someone? If it is then does liking someone need a reason?

I for one am a logical and practical person. I think there has to be a reason why you like or love someone. As unromantic as it sounds, I feel like I need a reason. Feelings are fleeting. You can like a person because he or she is something new. If we go the scientific route (and various studies have proven it) biochemicals such as norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin produces that feeling of love produces the sensations we feel when we are in love. Evolutionary psychology also has a different take on love. Love fades away in approximately two years because mates fulfilled their obligation when their offspring can live on their own (approximately 2 years in primates). My point? How does a relationship last? I was told a relationship lasts because you develop a bond stronger than love. You develop a friendship. It is almost like a business relationship. You give and take with your partner and everything will be successful.

Heh, I was just told I'm too logical to be a woman. meh.

Father's Office

So ever since I started Grad School I haven't really had the chance to explore new restaurants to write about. Not to mention I don't really have that much funds to spend to support my expensive hobby. But I am glad I was able to visit Father's Office again.

Father's office is a Gastropub famous for their beer selection and their Office Burger. They have two locations, one in Santa Monica and one in LA. I prefer the LA branch since it's bigger and more room to enjoy. The bartender was really friendly and very helpful. He was very knowledgeable with the different beers they served.

I haven't been back at Father's Office for almost a year and damn, the burger is still as good as I remembered. Dry-aged meat, gruyere, Maytag Blue, arugula, caramelized onions and bacon. Oh the sweet-salty combination of the onions and the bacon oh so good. The meat was medium-rare, just the way I like it and was so juicy. Oh so superb.

The sweet potato fries was up next. I think this was my favorite out of all the things we ordered. The fries was exactly the way I wanted. Nice and crispy. It had an herb and salt mixture tossed into the fries and the accompanying roasted garlic, blue cheese aioli was just the perfect dip for the fries. Oh, I was already in heaven.

Since I'm Asian, and I was with a couple of other Asians, we had to try the bone marrow dish! It came with a small caper-parsley salad that at first I thought was just decoration. This was good too. But I was not blown away.

I paired my dish with the Speckled Hen Beer, a dark beer that was creamy and light. The Hefs they had were pretty good as well. All in all my verdict for Father's Office. 5 stars. :)

On Friends....

Friends are important to me. My friends keep me well-rounded and they've been my support ever since I entered Grad school. I will never replace them and I promised myself I will never place them second when I'm in a relationship. If it comes to choosing between friends and a relationship. I choose friends.

"Come and join my merry band of misfits and thieves..... "

On love....

I used to fall in love quickly and deeply... I've learned to do it on a slower pace.... I will take my time and I'm not going to rush into things...When I fall in love again.... When I choose to love you, I promise you, it will definitely by visible  and it will be just as deep.

I have my walls up... and it's probably really high and thick. It'll take time tearing it down.  Not to mention, I think I have trust issues. Like I said in a previous post  I will no longer set myself up in another fake love. I don't want to fall in love and be shot down when I least expect it. I don't want to fall in love, and realize that there is no compatibility between my significant other and I. I don't want to fall in love and find out that his ideals are not the same like mine.... like, marriage, religion, politics and aspiring for more ambitious things. I want to to know that we have the same views so that in the long run we have something deep to talk about and not just anything shallow. I just don't want to go through that whole rollercoaster that we call Love, just to find out it was all for naught. I read once, an average relationship between a girlfriend/boyfriend is two years. I want more than that.

When I fall in love again, it's because I know it's because he will never hurt me, he will never leave me for any stupid or falsified reason. I just want to feel secure that we both want it to last. I will fall in love because we are compatible in every way. No immaturity in emotions or in life. I want to be able to trust him, that he can take care of me not just physically and financially but also emotionally. Don't get me wrong, after my degree, I know I"ll be making it big., and I can pull my own weight, I just want to know that he won't be a slacker because I know I won't be one.

I want a permanent love, not just temporary. I fall in love, because I am hoping that someday I can find my life partner that I would like to marry. I'm not saying the moment I fall in love, I want to get married right away, that's crazy talk. But I do want, that when I'm with that person, he'll probably want the same too. I know I'm not getting married anytime soon but I don't want to waste anyone's time... I don't want to waste my time, for another temporary love.

When I fall in love, I want to be happy and most especially I want him to be just as happy.

It takes courage to love.
To jump into the unknown
and only trust the person you love.

OMG!!!

OMG for realz??? Am I??? shieet...... I guess so. Think, think, think.......

It sucks to be you right now.....

Well, I really tried to be nice. I tried to stay in touch, but you just really rub me the wrong way. So you thought I wouldn't know? Well sir, you are sadly mistaken.

Hide from the cameras if you must, but it will always come out. Why hide? Hide only if there's something wrong, so I guess you know it's wrong. Stupid fool. Don't bother trying to be friends. The bridge was burned a long time ago

If you are reading this, and if only I can say this to your face... "Fuck you and I hope you're screwed over and karma gets you."

Now all I have to do is delete every memory of you.

Congratulations buddy, your name has been placed on my most hated list. I now pronounce you deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my ASS... Mother fucker!

On being overwhelmed....

Just take everything in stride.
If you feel you can't take it, cry over it,
Then stand back and think about it again.
Look at what options you have,

Because you will always have options

My Dictionary

Sometimes I make up words or I use words differently. So here's my own dictionary. Just in case you have no idea what I'm saying

• ninja-

  (vb) the object/person disappears all of a sudden. Ex. I haven't seen you for a long time. You're going ninja on me.  (vb) sneaky. Ex. I'll go ninja on you and steal your food.

• meh-

   (vb) no concern; no importance. Ex- He is meh to me.

• Psh-

     (vb) uttered in a dismissive tone in response to a confrontation; unbelievable; whatever. Ex. "Psh, I don't care what you think fool."

• shoegasm-

     (vb) in an extreme happy state after buying a new pair of shoes. Ex. "I had a shoegasm after my retail therapy at Nordstroms"

• dunch- (originated from a game of Balderdash with friends but I no longer remember the real definition. But I use it using my definition.)

     (noun)- refers to a meal after lunch before dinner. ex. "I'm having dunch with Lizzie at 5"

• snake-

     (adj) the person is not to be trusted... "That dude is a snake. Don't let him come near me."

• LSHTIAFOMD - Laughing So Hard That I Almost Fell Off My Dinosaur

     an internet meme that says what it means.

• Fuin-

     (adj) sarcastically saying that everything is proceeding normally. ex. After being told to clean up the porta-potty, Jack said "Fuin, It's ok, it's my favorite job in the whole wide world."

• complesot-

     (adj) meant to be a complement but it turned out to be an insult. "You look so good today. You probably lost a lot of weight."-- which implies that the person spoken to was fat.

Everytime I see your face.....

I am annoyed and I want to hit your face with a dead fish. Ugh.... I hate you.

In case of a zombie infestation....

To the dumb people out there....

Zombies eat brain-- don't worry you're safe.

I'm in relationship!!!!

haha made you read.

Being in grad school is like being in a relationship. There are the sweet moments. The fun moments. The happy moment. The tearful moments. "You-make-me-so-angry" moments. But in the end... you wouldn't want to end it.

I have a new lover.

Single Blessedness

I woke up today feeling very happy. I love my friends. I love my life. Although I complain about it a bit, I love that I'm in school. I'm very much blessed to have good people in my life.

I am very, very happy, and I'm achieving it with my friends. Now who said singles can't have happiness?

Grad School Personified

Grad school to me: I will eat your soul.

"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
- Unknown

Interesting Find

I've been organizing my room and my school stuff for the past few hours. As I am going through each folder, binder and notebook trying to figure out what I should keep and what I should throw.... I found a beautiful and inspirational note that was handed in class during my undergrad.


I hope it inspires you too.


I am part of a lost generation

and I refuse to believe that

I can change the world

I realize this may be a shock but

“Happiness comes from within.”

is a lie, and

“Money will make me happy.”

So in 30 years I will tell my children

they are not the most important thing in my life

My employer will know that

I have my priorities straight because

workis more important than

family

I tell you this

Once upon a time

Families stayed together

but this will not be true in my era

This is a quick fix society

Experts tell me

30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce

I do not concede that

I will live in a country of my own making

In the future

Environmental destruction will be the norm

No longer can it be said that

My peers and I care about this earth

It will be evident that

My generation is apathetic and lethargic

It is foolish to presume that

There is hope.


And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it .


*Now read it from bottom to top

On Cheaters...

People who cheat on their significant others should get whacked on the head. People who take back the cheating bastard should also get whacked. If that happened to me, get ready for World War 3.

I'm very friendly. But cross me and betray my trust.... I will NEVER EVER forgive you.

Just a warning.

I feel like slapping someone.

hmm...

My recent blogs are all about complaining. I complain a lot.... I should be more positive.....

Think happy thoughts. Like Peter Pan.... then I can fly.....

Oh yeah..... I will fly.... dude..... Double Rainbow guy. I want something you had.

Humor

Adding humor to my non-academic writing is my way of staying positive. I probably sound a little crazy sometimes.... but I need an outlet to let my stress go. The crazier I get when I write in my blog means the more stress I'm experiencing. I need to laugh even if it means I laugh at myself. I don't think I can survive grad school without laughing.

I think this is also my coping mechanism. Trying to avoid the responsibilities of a grad student but at the same time still trying to push myself to do something.

sigh. Somebody push the fast forward button to when I walk up the stage and receive my certificate.

Happy 4th of July!!!

Sometimes I just stare at my laptop's screen. Thinking of Facebook. Like... so who posted new pictures? Who beat me at Typing Challenge?... shiet. You know you have it bad when all you think about is Facebook. blah!!!!

Addiction aside, I celebrated a good weekend. Hung out with friends, went to 3 bbqs and lots of beer. I was introduced to Red Corona... mmm.... good. Sucks that everything has to be so far though!! But as soon as I got home, I'm back to my dreary world of studying... Summer session is a bitch.

ok... my break is over... enough writing and back to studying...

Gasp!!!!

I'm cut off from the world. Facebook is dead to me for a month.

shit.

Letter to Grad School

Dear Grad School

Currently, you are kicking my cohort's butt. We are stressed, sick, burnt out and going crazy. For now, we are just chugging along... like that little engine that could.... But in 402 days..... we will be looking back and say, "WE CONQUERED YOU BIATCH!!!"

Sincerely,
Me

The things i've learned from my Tito

and the newest internet meme: LSHTIAFOMD - Laughing So Hard That I Almost Fell Off My Dinosaur

you are loved

I don't have a particular person in mind or reason for saying this in my blog.... but if you think about it, 3 little words can make a difference to a person. It can be a pivotal point in a person's life... what do you think? Maybe I'm going way out of limb....

but.... remember

you are loved.... to the person whose heart is aching.
you are loved.... to the person who feels abandoned.
you are loved.... to the person who feels useless.
you are loved.... to the person who feels alone.
you are loved.... to the person who lives a life of misery.
you are loved.... to those who feel forgotten.

No matter how depressing it feels there's always someone out there....

Got a little Emoed out.... but I was just thinking of that... and how lonely some people feel. I hope if there are people who reads my blog, I hope it inspires people to say you are loved.

When I fall in love again....

I am single.
I choose to be single for now.
Till I find the right one.
I know I am a pretty good catch.
I have my suitors,
but
I will no longer set myself up for another fake love.
I am perfectly capable of making myself happy.

If you managed to catch my eye, that's because I find you interesting.
If something happens then good.
If nothing comes out of it, it's fine.

But I know...

When I fall in love again....

I will love him to the best of my ability
I will understand him and treat him well
Give him the attention he so desires.
Shower him with affection and praise.
Support his goals and his dreams.
Love him for who he is and who he will become
and not because of who he was or what I hope he will be.
And give love, undying and unconditional love.

I will never have the intention of hurting him
Nor will I harbor thoughts of it.

I expect that he will treat me the same.

When that time comes,
When I can truly love again.
It will be bliss.

Just to let you know

I am not or will ever be an airhead.
I am not or will ever be a hoe.
I am not or will ever be your one night stand.
I am not or will ever be someone to be toyed with.
I am not or will ever be the other woman.
I am not the stereotyped Asian woman that will love you long time.

I am a proud woman.
Strong and independent.
I am happy.
I don't need a boy to make me feel like crap
I want a man who'll make me feel important, exquisite, refined and stunning.
Don't play games with me.
If you want to be with me show it.
If not, move on.

Men, learn to tell the difference between trash and excellence.

I just needed to say that.... I've seen some of my friends treated badly. I hope they read this and realize they are worth much more than what they think.

Happy

I'm home alone. And I twirl around in heavenly bliss and plop into my bed, I realized..... I am very happy and content. :) I love being me.




not me on the video.... but i sure feel like doing this.

Little things that I've been thinking about

So the cousin asked... what's the difference between a journal and a blog? For me a journal keeps your innermost thoughts. A blog reflects random stuff about your... sort of like this... I guess you can say it's random conversations that I have with myself? Makes me sound a little crazy..... Oh well. Some blogs are picture heavy. Posts of what people like. But mine isn't, it's really a place for my thoughts... I place some pictures. If I'm not too lazy. Will probably do that when I'm done with school.....

Another thing that I've been thinking about... hmm... relationships. As we grow older we look at relationships differently. We go through phases, this is what I think anyway...

• first when we're younger, we have the romantic-phase, where everything happens like a movie. We get swept off our feet and canoodle with our partners. We whisper sweet nothings into each other's ear.
  
• Then we get the Ok-I'm-an-adult-relationship and we try to be adults and actually have a mature relationship.
  
• Lastly, give-me-no-bull-relationship. It's either you're in or you're out.

I think I'm at the last part.... Sure, it's nice to have a romantic relationship at first but seriously, I think it's immature to go through the games. I'm just going with the flow that life brings right now. A relationship isn't an important thing for me at this point. Considering I felt a little betrayed a few days ago. But I know if the universe decides that a relationship will happen in the future, I will still give it my best. No matter how hurt I was in the past.

Oh well... on with my ramblings... like i said this is a blog of my rants and ramblings.... you don't like it... Well, stop reading it. I'm not here to please you.

My Ode to the Upcoming Brain and Spine Extraction Activity

brains, brains how will I examine thee?
I'll poke you and slice you....
and I'll do this all with glee.
It's your brain that I am thinking
I hope it gives you pain
While I'm dissecting.
Like voodoo with a little doll
Writhe in pain and curl into a ball!!!!


yes.... bitchy aren't I?

Apartment 429

To the ladies and gents that live there....

Thank you for putting up with me and my crazy rants, for the beer dates when I'm stressed, for dinners when I'm hungry, for the company when I'm lonely, for the laughter when I'm sad, for the advice when I'm confused, for the "i-told-you-so-moments" but didn't rub it to my face.

Thank you for being there.

my faith in men....

Other than my brothers and my dads (I have two)..... my faith in men is slowly diminishing.... like really. Don't believe the half-ass crap that they tell you, no matter how trustworthy they seem.

I want to shoot you right between the eyes and smile about it. No, not you... the other guy. The guy who said a bunch of crap. Yes you. May you die with a flea infestation on your nut sack down to your bung hole.

Watch out. I'm a bitch on PMS!!!!

Kidnapped!!!

While I was in the middle of studying, 2 ladies and 2 men took away my books and my bag and forcefully grabbed my hand... "You're coming with us, whether you like it or not!" I was kidnapped!!! Stuffed in a van & off to a place where two giant rats lived. The food they fed me were all non-nutritional. I was forced to ride a spaceship and escaped a galactic war, then we were on another spaceship trying to kill aliens in another galactic war. We arrived on earth and the kidnappers took me to a jungle and we rode on boats. Next we rode a yellow submarine and we were taken to an underground civilization. Then they took me on a train ride through a mountain, and then we rode on a broken down, jiggety car. The horror! We were chased by rolling boulder and zombies as we were trying to leave the mountain!

When we reached the town center I was forced to rob a bank!!! I was caught by the police and I tried explaining that i was forced but they didn't believe me. They threw me in jail and I was lucky I was able to attain a bottle of super powered water, one drink and I had super strength. Then I was able to break free, but the kidnappers knew where i was and alas, captured me again.

I was tortured! I walked for miles and miles. They spun me around and around in a teacup-like spinning chair. I think i died a little bit, maybe for 5 minutes.

Finally, I was able to get away from the kidnappers. Now I'm back home double time on studying.

Random Shiznit about Myself

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF

1. I hate clothes shopping but I love shoe shopping
2. I have good sense of direction
3. I don't follow any shows on TV but I follow a bunch online
4. I have a total of 6 brothers, full, half and step bros
5. I have no sisters
6. I don't know how to whistle
7. I hate writing academically but I will write for fun
8. I love my life and the people in it.
9. I believe in soulmates it doesn't mean that he/she is your lover but he/she can be your best friend. Soulmates doesn't mean the opposite gender.
   
10. I get anxious so much that I blank out sometimes
    

NINE THINGS YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT RECENTLY

1. Should I drop grad school?
2. WTF? Tell me what I need to know
3. What am I doing?
4. Excited for Nina's wedding
5. I can't find the article I need to read online
6. Grad school is a bitch
7. Anxiety attacks are a pain
8. This is complicated
9. I am ninja
   

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART

1. Love
   
2. Honesty
3. Straightforward
4. Compassion
5. Spontaneity
6. Simplicity
7. Loyalty
8. Adventurous

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO FORGET.

1. My hometown
2. My roots
3. My family
4. My morals
5. My friends
6. I am strong, brave and beautiful
7. You
   

SIX THINGS YOU ARE OBSESSED ABOUT

1. My anime
2. My laptop
3. My organized closet
4. My personal journal
5. people putting their feet on the dashboard... I totally want to whack their feet. it just freaking grosses me out.
6. Ninjas
   

FIVE THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY TO FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT.

1. F!ck you!!!
   
2. I like you a lot but this is getting way too complicated.
3. I need help.
4. You don't understand shit
5. Women make better ninjas
   

FOUR WEAKNESSES

1. Ramen
2. A guy who can dress really good and have my sense of humor
3. sad, puppy dog eyes
4. Samurais (Ninjas are way better)
   

THREE THINGS YOU’RE SCARED OF

1. Failing at anything I do
   
2. Snakes and lizards
3. A ninja will come and assassinate me
   

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Making a difference in the world, even for a tiny bit
   
2. Be a ninja
   

ONE CONFESSION

1. Ninja is my favorite word

Unachievable???

When your goal, your dream is unachievable because someone or something tells you you're not good enough and stops you point blank at getting that goal, then what happens?

Weddings wedding.....

Ah wow, so many weddings this year. Am I really at that age where all my peers are getting married?

3 classmates recently got engaged.
3 relatives getting married including my brobot
4 friends got/getting married....

dang, so many.... But I am so happy for each and everyone..... now my problem.... so many gifts to buy!

May God bless each and everyone of you with abundant blessings in your (future) union

Blue Moon

So... i drank Blue Moon beer yesterday during my Mom's dinner.... the "Art Director" and I suspected that I was allergic to it before.... I thought maybe it was just a fluke since I can drink Honey Moon and Full Moon and all other beers.... but yep i'm allergic to Blue Moon.

This time I woke up with a red, swollen left eye and a big splotchy hive underneath my right eye!

Hooray for blue moon! Gotta love good beer though.

Quotable Quotes part 1

For sure I'll be hearing a lot of quotable quotes in my lifetime, so this entry is part one.

"And then what?!!!!!"- Mimi

"Duke, I am so mad at you!! I am so mad"- Karina

"....and a herd of turtles will choke you!"- Dr. Herer

"...tequilla makes my clothes fall off."- Dr. Giess

JT Schmidts

So I tried a beer sampler from JT Schmidts... it's ok. More details to the follow

From Left to Right (description from the JT Schimidts website)

• JT Light- This light bodied ale is golden in color with a smooth crisp finish. Our lightest brew (4.8% ABV)... very very light and refreshing.
• Hefeweizen- Straw colored and cloudy, lightly hopped and garnished with a slice of lemon (5.2% ABV). Nice refreshing beer. Hefs are pretty good and this one was just the same... didn't blow my mind away... but it's ok
• India Pale Ale- A highly hopped ale brewed with Pacific Northwest hops producing a full flowery aroma (6.9% ABV)... Not a big fan of IPAs... and this didn't improve my opinion of it either. I just don't like bitter beer.
• Emil’s Amber- Grandpa’s very own. Rich malt amber colored ale balanced by fresh German hops (5.2%ABV).... i don't remember much of this... i guess, it's safe to say.... not spectacular but not crappy.
• Extra Stout- A full bodied and moderately bitter ale balanced between black roasted flavors and bold malt accents (6.7% ABV)
• The last one was their seasonal beer. I don't remember the name but it was the best among my beer selection

Home

Another repost....

Just to clear things up... This poem is not dedicated to anyone..... Ok fine, I'll dedicate this to my future lover, whoever that maybe.

Rain just keep on pouring down,
Flooding my head
Confusion, no direction
The sky is cloudy, I lost my star
I lost my way home

It's a long way to get to you
A long arduous path.
A winding road, where I can't see the end
I lost my way home

I've been walking and searching
For a place I can call home
It'll take time, I won't give up, I still have hope
I will find my way home

Your love will guide me through
I know I'll come home to you
In your embrace, I'll feel secure
In your arms, I'll feel assured
That home will always be with you.

What ifs?

What if I never reach my goal?
What if I fall down a deep hole?
What if I break down and cry?
What if I'm afraid to try?
What if I say "I give up"?
What if I say "I should stop"?
What if I say "I'm through! No more!"?
What if I say "I've never been this down before?"

Please push me till I reach my goal
Give me a hand to climb my hole
Be my shoulder when I cry
Urge me on to go on and try
Encourage me and cheer me up
"Believe in yourself don't ever stop
You'll reach your goals and so many more,
Because you are a stronger person than before."

Self Discovery

It hasn't stopped raining for days.
Rain drops are drenching my face.
The waters rise, my world is a flood,
Slowly I shall become one with mud.

Darkness is all around.
Hanging on driftwood my feet can't touch the ground.
I'm losing control for these past few days,
and my mind is crushed my thrashing waves.

I'm treading on water to keep from sinking.
You can't really hear what I'm not saying,
"Save me!"... but I'm not the one you are reaching.
You don't seem to recognize that I am missing.

I'm weak, I'm falling.
I denied myself all feeling.
I denied myself all hoping.
I denied myself my own being.

But the angry waters I have braved.
and I don't know how, but I was saved.
Light peeks out between the parting skies.
It has calmed the storms that drenched my eyes.

The sun has dried the streams still flowing,
and I realized it's a new beginning.
With a tattered heart, I collect myself,
and I know, I alone will be my only help.


I realized that I'm way different from how I was a few years ago. I guess i'm trying to get that back. Someone gave me an epiphany, thank you for that.

I think it's about time I kick that moping, little girl in the ass and do something about it. In the end it will be myself who'll do the changing no matter what my friends say or do. I guess I need to be at my lowest point to realize that.

I am strong and independent and I will not let anyone crush my goals.

Nostalgia (repost from a different blog)

this is a repost, I don't feel this way anymore.... but it's a good one

I want to drown my heart with wine
to extinguish a crazy love
that more than love, is pain...
And that's what i'm here for,
to erase those old kisses with other lips' kisses
if his love was short lived,
why is this cruel preoccupation
always living in me?
I want to drink for both of us
to forget this obsession
but i remember him even more

The nostalgia for his laughing
for feeling his breath next to my lips
The anguish of being abandoned
and of thinking that soon he will whisper
tender words to another
I don't want the humiliation
of begging, crying
of telling him i can't live without him
from my sad solitude
i will see the falling of the lifeless roses of my youth

Moan, your sad tango
Maybe you also are in pain
for a broken love...
cry my silly, lonely and sad soul tonight
Dark, starless night
If drinks bring relief
here i am with my sorrow to drown it at once
i want to drown my heart with wine to my defeated love

Lessons From A Children's book

"i think you are the one
that i have been waiting for," said the missing piece.
"maybe i am your missing piece."

"but i am not missing a piece," said the big O.
"there is no place you would fit."

"that is too bad," said the missing piece.
"i was hoping that perhaps i could roll with you...."

"you cannot roll with me," said the big O,
"but perhaps you can roll by yourself."

"by myself? a missing piece cannot roll by itself."

"have you ever tried?" asked the big O.

"but i have sharp corners," said the missing piece.
"i am not shaped for rolling."

"corners wear off," said the big O,
"and shapes change."



one of the most poignant parts of one of my all-time favorite children's books.

sometimes i can't help but wonder where we end up taking wrong turns as we grow up. the lessons we must learn we've learned as children. do we just simply unlearn these lessons as we get older, only to have to relearn them again?

I'm fucking pissed

I don't really know if people read my blog. I write because I feel like writing.... if people read it, then ok, more power to me, hurrah.... (made with no intonation)

But I'm pissed, why? for several reasons.... and I can't write it here because i don't know if that person reads this blog.... well, i'm talking about more than one person....

What I've learned:

1. It's not about you all the time you know....
2. Seriously, make up your mind!!!
3. For me to be able to chill and relax, I need to cut off people that makes me stressed and tense. But how? I'm too friendly.I have enough shitty things going on with school.
   
4. Own up to your mistakes, don't blame others for the predicament that you're in.

What I need to do:

1. Life is not about complaints. I should learn to handle the cards that life gives me. I should learn how to play poker better.
2. I should learn to speak up more.
3. I should learn to get what I want and say what I want to certain people
4. I know I'm a good friend. I'm always there for my friends... I should just learn not to let their problem affect me since I'm not tied or related to it.

Sigh.....

Grad school is breaking me. It's Spring Break but I feel overwhelmed why?

Birds and the Bees

We had our Social Stars group for today and we discussed "touching", what kinds of touching was appropriate and not appropriate. This group was a group of 1st graders and a Kindergartner.

The SLP asked... "Do we kiss people?" the reaction of the first grader was, "Ewwwww... Never ever kiss people. Never kiss anybody because first you get cooties, then you get AIDS!!" The kindergartner replied with "yeah, and you get in trouble."

What happened to the birds and the bees? I wonder what their parents taught them... hmmm... but they're right.... kissing gives you trouble..... ha! my students are so bright!

Tests + Projects + Presentations + Practicum = Anxiety

I was studying with my group on Monday and we were talking about all the tests, projects, presentations and practicum that were due. We realized that everyone in our group were having anxiety issues.

I thought I was the only one going nuts in this program, but I guess I'm one of the saner ones. I'm the one person in my study group that's not on meds.... Our conversation shifted from studying to the variety of medications my classmates were taking.

Hopefully, I won't go on meds but I was close to it last semester.... I had 3 breakdowns this semester and no anxiety attacks yet. Last semester, (considering how messed up it was), I had...hmmm I think 4 anxiety attacks and a lot of breakdowns.

Dang... no wonder the SLPs out there are nutty. Hello Crazyland!

I love him!!!

Sam Hart is the bomb and has the best humor ever. I don't care if it's nerdy. I love him... If someone ever makes me a song, I will love him forever!!!

On Reminiscing

I miss how you make me smile...
When you tell me that you love me
I miss how you make me giggle...
When you tickle me out of nowhere
I miss how you make me feel good...
When I know you're next to me.
I miss how you hugged me...
When I see you for the first time on the weekends
I miss how you brighten my day
When I know I'll see you in a few hours
I miss how I feel loved...
When I know that we're together

But...

We're not together,
My day is not brightened
I am no longer hugged
I no longer feel good
I no longer giggle
I am no longer loved
I no longer smile.

It's ok.

I'm only longing for the ghost of my past love.
and it will only stay in the past.
and it will only be a ghost.

Someday,
My day will be brightened
I will be hugged
I will feel good
I will giggle
I will feel loved
and I will smile my biggest smile
and once again,
I will love.

Facebook

I should just kill my Facebook account. Like I said... it's a black hole that sucks most of your time without realizing it.

But then again.... I will be disconnected to the world...

Decisions....

Our Professor's words of wisdom

Quote from our professor "Tequilla makes my clothes fall off...."


It's a song..... but no one in class knew that..... till our professor mentioned it 2 minutes later. That was the most awkward 2 minutes.

Grad School vs. Me

nuff said

My Life and Rollercoasters

I'm off the old one... Now, I'm on a new one... Bring it biatch!!!

I refuse to see the glass half-empty!!!

On Parking...

Dear Person-who-parked-next-to-me-and-doesn't-know-how-to-get-out-of-your-parking-spot-without-leaving-skid-marks-on-my-car's-rear-side,

I hope someone serves you your balls, because you don't deserve it. A little note would have been nice.

Sincerely,
Me

When I am sick.....

I feel weak and cranky. I cough and I feel miserable. I can't think straight and I can't do homework. Then I find myself looking at my old photos....

Then it reminds me of people who I love and cherish the most. Pictures of people I presently care for. People who significantly touched my life and has a special place in my heart. People who has been there for me through my thick or thin situations. People who I met through work and I can proudly say are my friends too. New friends that I would like to keep and get to know more. Family who I care for and miss. My friends since elementary. Activity buddies.

I'm blessed to have an abundance of friends and family. I don't feel so alone or unhappy anymore and I feel pretty much recharged. Thank you everyone for being part of my life.

A Poem About my Grad Program

Intake sheet, intake sheet--
How will I make thee?
Lesson plans and research papers,
I'll have to write all three.
Books and articles are piling on top
Testing and presentations oh please just stop.
To complete this crazy program,
Shed blood, sweat, tears and pray
But Screw it all people
When is my time to play?

*bow*

On mending a broken heart

I'm not claiming to be a relationship guro. But these are things that I did/do to make me feel happy. I feel so much better than a few months ago. I still have my moments but nothing extreme. I'm loving where my life is at right now.

Out of sight.
Out of Mind.
Out of thought.
Leave all behind.

Don't ruminate.
Don't hope against hope
Yet don't close your heart
and don't learn to hate

Learn to sit with your feelings
Even though it's uncomfortable
Cry when you need to
But don't let it overwhelm you
It's all part of healing

Put up a facade if you must
Smile your biggest smile
and learn to laugh
because someday you'll realize
your smile and laughter
are real

Sometimes what we want.... we really don't.

If you really think about it, sometimes what we want, we really don't and sometimes who we love, we really don't either......

I was happy but things didn't turn out quite right. I just need to learn to let go, the right person is out there. I know that.

To complicate things, I just happen to be in another predicament with another person as I juggle with the previous one. I should be a master juggler.

I just can't wait for this roller coaster ride to end.

Lady bugs! Lady bugs

It's fun hanging out with my friend aka "Cuppies". Cuppies is an awesome baker and makes spectacular, delectable, scrumptious, mouthwatering tantalizing cupcakes!!! Hence, the nick name "Cuppies". Did I mention her designs are awesome?? I'm getting hungry just thinking of the deliciousness of her cupcakes!!! drool.....


The picture to the left of this blog is her actual product. Isn't it pretty? She makes cakes too! She can do your wedding cake or even a birthday cake. I really recommend her for any party that you have. :)

Little advertisement here... but go to her website... Dessert Fusion. She has a list of all her flavors, filling and even pictures of her past work.

But anyway, since Cuppies lives 6 minutes away from me, I've been spending time at her house almost every night. Last night we made Ladybug themed cup cakes. I had so much fun making the lady bugs and also the flowers. I hope the people who gets to see it will enjoy the beauty and at the same time enjoy eating it. All pictures posted on this entry are owned by Dessert Fusion.

First Day of internship

So it was the first day of my practicum/internship. Whatever you want to call it. It was a good experience so far. I like my supervisor.

hmmm.... next?

It's been a while

So my last blurb was back in October. Shit happened. 10 days after I wrote the previous entry the bf and I broke up... Ah life.... so now, my ex will be referred to as "the Art Director" for any future reference in this blog. We're good friends but I'm not ready to hang out and mingle.

So I guess life is telling me that my next adventure is to be single.... hey, I'm loving it so far. Many things happened since then, I cried, I cried some more. I had fun. I enjoyed stuff. Holidays arrived and had gone by.... it was ok. Finally I'm picking up the pieces of my brokern heart. I went snowboarding, made cupcakes... what else? Met a few new people and moving on with life.

Today, though.... seriously Tornado warnings in California? Apparently, Tornadoes appeared in Long Beach and Costa Mesa! Oh wow.

Oh and the food.... I recently had a 3x3 burger animal style with animal style from In-n-Out with animal style fries. So good. mmm....

Will try to write more.... Grad school is awesome.